Let’s backtrack a minute…

Well, here I am feeling rude because I have forgotten to introduce myself! First things first: here is a little bit about me…

  1. I am a post-bac student at UW-Milwaukee, and I got my BA from there in English.
  2. I am becoming an 6-12 English teacher.
  3. I taught 8th grade ELA last semester.
  4. I am currently teaching 2 sections of American Lit and 1 section of Science Fiction.
  5. I have 3 cats named Fitzgerald, Henry, and Olivia. And yes, Fitz is named after the great F. Scott Fitzgerald. He’s a gin addict to boot. (Just kidding…or am i?)

I started my placement on January 26, and it feels like an eternity ago.  I’m on my 5th week of teaching high school with 3 and half months left to go.  I already have a countdown till the end the school year. That’s not because everything is terrible and I want it to be over all the time (even though sometimes that’s true), but I CANNOT wait to have my own classroom.  Floating around in other teachers’ spaces is really hard.  My life is crammed into a tiny desk and plastic bins I haul around the school.  If only I had a classroom of my own to decorate and keep my things in. Ahhh, a student teacher can dream.

My beautifully organized plastic bins.

My beautifully organized plastic bins.

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My tiny desk space

Another interesting quality about my school is that it is alternative school.  That means that it serves a lot of at-risk students who have not succeeded in what is deemed a “traditional” school setting.  I have tiny class sizes, my largest tapping out at 19.  And yeah this sounds cool, but in a district with poor attendance, it actually makes it hard to teach sometimes.  I am often spending well needed class time catching up and backtracking.  This is also made worse by our M/W and Tu/Th block schedule (100 mins classes), twice a week.  So I go a span of about 4 or 5 days without seeing my students.  It makes teaching really rough.  I mean how I am supposed to reinforce anything when I seeing my students, at best, twice a week? It seriously sucks.  It also means that sometimes I only have like 3 or 4 kids in my class, especially during first block. (7:30-9:15).  But it does give me time to play with my smart board…IMG_6693

I said this in my first post, but this is the hardest thing I have ever done.  Student teaching is riddled with feelings of self doubt and total aimlessness.  But I have my cohort to help me.  DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE SUPPORT OF YOUR PEERS. TEXT THEM EVERYDAY. POST RIDIIMG_6730CULOUS STUFF ON FACEBOOK. SEND THEM PICTURES LIKE THIS WHEN YOU HAVE A CRAPPY DAY. (OR JUST CAUSE IT’S MONDAY.) If there is one thing I’ve learned, it that me and every other student teacher feels like they are going to explode or collapse most of the time.  For example right now, I want to take a nap more than anything in the whole wide world.  Plus Fitz is curled up next to me, so perhaps it’s time to wrap up this post.

One thing I am trying very hard to do is see the positives in my day.  It is very easy to be consumed with stress and negativity, especially since teacher moral is not exactly the best in MPS right now.  I find myself believing in students that other teachers constantly complain about, and it’s hard.  I wonder if maybe I should be more realistic, but then I remember that if no one else believes in them, maybe I have to. I also need to remind myself of things I do well and that make me happy.  So I am going to try my best to think about 3 things everyday that make me happy/that went well/that I a grateful for.  I will share them with you as much as I can, but it is something I am doing for my own sanity. (And something everyone should probably do for themselves.) This is my first shot at this “3 positive things” thing, so here goes…

  1. I didn’t have to wait for more than 5 minutes for the bus today in -10 degree weather. (to and from school)
  2. My 1st block American Lit class did an awesome job of analyzing Billie Holiday’s “Strange Fruit.”
  3. I successfully operate the photocopier today with my massive Teacher’s Edition textbook.

Hey also check out my twitter!

And we have lift off…

So I’ve decided to attempt blogging again.  I have had a couple of blogs for classes in the past, but I have to see any really take off (aka keep them up after class is over).  I admit I love the internet, so if anything this is sort of an online journal.  I hope that perhaps my trials and tribulations can influence those who come after me.  I realize that all the advice in the world doesn’t make student teaching easier, but I hope you understand that you are not alone.  Cause, holy crap, sometimes it gets lonely out here in student teaching land.

 

Straight up honesty: student teaching is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  Like I have never known stress like this.  I think I’m going to have a mental breakdown every other day. This is basically reality: Dog-memes-how-im-handling-life-right-now-2

 

But in the midst of the fiery, terribleness that is constant stress, so are my amazing students. Sometimes it’s awesome stick figure drawings that make a whole entire day worth it. Like come on, I love these kids…

 

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A month in, and I have experienced a ridiculous range of emotions.  From wanting to quit to being amazing at the intelligence of teenagers.  There are days when I feel defeated.  I feel like I poured my heart and soul into a lesson just to have 25 snap chats sent during what I thought was an amazing discussion.  But I’m slowly (and difficultly) learning that is the nature of the beast.  Remember when you were in high school? Remember when you didn’t care? Yeah I do sometimes.  Even though I was the kid who decided to be an English teacher at age 14.  Even my overachieving brain phoned in high school a lot of the time.  Whose didn’t?

 

Ok, so those are my general musings on the subject.  But I hope to use this as an outlet or resource for other student teachers.  Know that it is the hardest thing you will ever do, but if you love it, you will find a way.  Details of my insane placement are to come, but just know that if you are a good teacher, you will survive.  Not only will you survive, but you will learn a whole lot.  About teaching, but mostly about yourself.  I feel like I’ve been at my high school for a million years.  It’s been a month.  It’s an odd and scary feeling, but it’s good, too.

 

So stay posted.  More adventures to come…

 

Till next time, happy teaching.

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